I wrote this Article at Deviantart on Sep 16, 2008, a month after Patrick took his own life.
The original article is located here.
As human beings, we are drawn to those of who we share similar experiences with. Browsing deviantART lately I have noticed how many young people we have here and along with this I have discovered by reading Journals that many of the younger ones here suffer from Depression and many more speak of death and dying by suicide as if it were some solution, I want you to know that it really is not.
I want to bring to attention some facts that I learned too late in hopes that if you or someone you care for is in danger you will seek help because you or your loved one CAN be helped.
Studies show that DEPRESSION alone carries it's own risk factors for suicide but add to this ANXIETY and/or PANIC DISORDER and the risk rises dramatically.
Follow these links for more information on Depression, Anxiety and Panic Disorder.
Relationship between Depression and Anxiety
Anxiety Disorders - Complications
If you are depressed you need to be aware of these additional disorders, read about it, know about it and know that you can get help, this can be treated just like anything else, Suicide is not the solution, though it may seem like the only way, it is not, doctors can make the pain go away but you have to take that first step, ask for help.
I just lost one of the best friends I have ever had on August 9, 2008, he took his own life and he did it at my house. One week prior, he had told me that he was suffering from Anxiety and he was having Panic Attacks, he said he could feel his own heart beating in his chest and he was scared. I told him to come up to my house and stay here for a little while, not realizing the seriousness of what he had just told me because Patrick had been suffering from Depression for a while. I found out too late that I should have called 911 that night instead of inviting him up to my house but I didn't know but I know now and this is why I am sharing this with you, in hopes that if you are ever in a similar situation, you will recognize the signs.
To those who suffer and think that suicide will end the pain, I have a message for you.....
Your pain is real but Suicide is not the answer, instead all you will create are more questions. If there is just one person in your life that you love, that you even like, think of them because if you kill yourself they will spend the rest of their lives wondering what it was they could have done different.
I will never forget the morning Patrick was found dead outside my home, the sound of my neighbors voice echoing up the stairway to my room, alerting me that Patrick had a vacuum hose running from the exhaust pipe to the window of his Jeep or the look on his face when he had to tell me that my friend was gone. For the rest of my life I will remember the trip to the coroners office to pick up Patrick's belongings that were in his vehicle at his time of death, the smell of exhaust that still lingered on his things, the 2 inches of water that filled containers that were in his vehicle, the water being from the condensation inside the car, the description from my neighbor who opened the door of Patrick's car that morning and turned off the engine, he speaks of the drops of water falling from above Patrick, and how the entire interior of the vehicle was saturated. These things will forever be inside my head and the pain will be with me forever because there is no way to stop it because I cannot bring Patrick back no matter how I wish for that to happen.
You on the other hand have the power to stop your pain and prevent any others you love from suffering pain as well, get help, call someone, anyone, don't allow this to beat you and to take the people you love hostage because that is what will happen. If you believe no one cares then you are wrong, so wrong, even if you have no family, there are people who care, who want you to stay alive, you matter, you were born and you were meant to live.
I have listed some resources here for anyone suffering or for anyone you know who may be suffering, don't wait, please don't wait because once it's too late....it really is too late.
Need Help Now?
If you are thinking about suicide...read this first www.metanoia.org/suicide
A matter of life or death...[link]
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273 Talk or 1-800-273-8255
The line is staffed 24 hours a day.
Each year, more than 30,000 Americans take their own lives. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among children, teens and young adults ages 10 to 24. In the United States, about 4,000 young people die by suicide each year.
More than 90 percent of people who kill themselves have a diagnosable mental disorder, commonly a depressive disorder or a substance abuse disorder and in most cases, the disorders are treatable.
There are often signs that someone may be thinking about or planning a suicide attempt. Here are some of them:
* talking about suicide or death in general
* talking about "going away"
* referring to things they "won't be needing," and giving away possessions
* talking about feeling hopeless or feeling guilty
* pulling away from friends or family and losing the desire to go out
* having no desire to take part in favorite things or activities
* Having trouble concentrating or thinking clearly
* experiencing changes in eating or sleeping habits
* engaging in self-destructive behavior (drinking alcohol, taking drugs, or cutting, for example)
In memory of...
Patrick Brian Williams
June 12, 1965 - August 9, 2008